Oh, so so so much to tell

Those that follow me on Facebook know all this but there might be one or two of you who don’t so I’ll spill it.

The Dog of Love leaves us

With the heaviest of hearts and a feeling for which there are no words, Duty and I sent Max over the Rainbow Bridge on April 26th.  Losing a dog is really very different (for me) than the loss of a cat.  It breaks my heart each time, for sure, but this one – well, this just about killed us both.  Because I was with him all day every day, I saw this pain and struggle.  That last day I cried many times saying to him “I don’t know how to help you.” – He couldn’t walk on his back legs and had diarrhea and couldn’t get outside – oh kids, it was just awful.

No matter how many dogs I will ever have (story for another time), I will always love Max the most.  He was a best friend, a companion, a buddy and just a happy little dog.  I had him for 15 years and was so lucky he picked me for his mama.

 Getting Naked (metaphorically speaking, of course!)

Soon after Max departed and Duty and I hard-core wallowed in our sadness, I ended up stepping into an opportunity to attend a seminar in Richmond VA put on by David Neagle.  It was a three-day event in my former hometown, just two(ish) hours away by car.  Neagle is a coach to many multi-million dollar coaches out there and he knows his stuff cold.  He’s an engaging speaker and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend three days than learning from this man.

This seminar was really about conquering fears head on and coming to understand value and worth as entrepreneurs.  This is an area that might as well be Greek to me because I have never really had to address it.  When you work for someone else, it doesn’t always come into play other than asking for a raise, getting a 2% one because that’s all they give anyway and tough luck to you.  Setting a price for my services has been an interesting experience and watching how it intersects self-worth and whatnot has been enlightening.

What? You want to hear about the nekkid part? LOL  Pretty much everyone who was there understands that when you go to a DN event, you kind of throw yourself out there, naked for others to see.  And when he’s asking questions like “What’s your greatest fear – the one that stops you dead in your tracks?” and everyone has to read theirs to the group (and for everyone on the livestream too!) well, it gets a bit intimidating.

Yours truly did her best to hide in a group, like I always do.  But I really became more conscious of doing it and that helped propel me past the fear.  I did speak at the microphone albeit it for just a few seconds (and yes, I cried, like everyone else!) and shared my desire to remain invisible.   And that’s a topic I am continuing to explore.  In fact, my podcast for this week at PI talks about how I’m willing to let that go (scared but willing!) in order to be more fully who I am doing my woo-type work.

Lots of shifts and changes the past few weeks …. I’m trying to process all of it and keep moving. (It’s the latter part that is often difficult for me, I’m coming to learn.) And here’s the newest piece for me – thirty years of working to a deadline and/or being held accountable sets up a pattern that can make it difficult to keep your own self accountable (she said, pretending it’s not a lot harder than it feels).

So yeah, lots going on. Not much I can put into words now.  This is the best I can do.

Shifts and changes, shifts and changes, shifts and changes.  I feel like that’s my life right now.  And that’s okay (I suppose).