(And yes, I sometimes include myself in that category which is why I’ve tried to step back from posting lately.)
You may not be aware of this but I have these inner “rules for living” that I feel everyone should abide by. (I’m only half kidding. Isn’t that sad?)
And the weird thing is that just because you’re not aware that I have said rules doesn’t man I won’t try to hold you to them. (In my head, of course. Not in real life. Well, probably not in real life. Depends on my mood.)
When people go against my rules that makes me want to take an ice pick and get all Dexter-like on their ass.
Lisa’s Rules of Order (the abbreviated, mostly-relevant-to-Facebook version)
1) Don’t post that you are a restaurant or bar. No one cares where you are. (For reals)
2) Don’t post stupid random thoughts “Cooler temps for the next few days! Yay!” or “LAST full week of school!!!”- really? Don’t you have a pet you can share this brilliance with?
3) If you’re not sure that your sense of humor translates to the written word, just don’t attempt it. Because nine times out of ten, it’s a big fail.
4) If you’re gonna write vague fuckin’ posts, at least make them interesting. “Someone help me hide the body fast!” is significantly better than “The FOT teacher’s name on The Middle is Mr. Waller; the FOT teacher’s name on Family Guy is Mr. Vargas. Mind blown. Wut.” (Jesus, take the wheel, please!!)
5. If I really like you, I seem to have more tolerance for goofy ass posts. Lately, however, I’m finding that I don’t like many people I’ve friended on FB. And when I’m in an unfriending mood, I am ruthless.
6. What’s that stupid saying? “Save the drama for yo mama” – yes. Dear God, yes. There are so many people who crave attention (hence the vague status entries and all the “What’s wrong?” or “You’re the best. I love you.” kinds of follow-up posts.) and it makes me both sad and aggravated.
(Side note: I’d have been one of those people if FB had been around during my teen/20’s angsty years. But I had the appropriate place to whine: a journal and then later, this here blog. That way no one else would see it (journal) or five people would see it (blog). That’s better than spamming the time lines of all 9,375 friends on FB. (I don’t have that many – in fact, there are probably 30-40 who are on my “see everything” list and the rest are on acquaintances where they see only a few things.) So yeah. “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” (h/t Sweet Brown, I love you so!)
*Gal, none of this is directed at you and I know you know that. I loves you bunches.
Join us next time when we post Lisa’s Rules of Order for every day life. I know you can’t wait!
What’s your Facebook peeve?