Too far away for me to hold

Some songs are just so evocative of a certain time and place, aren’t they? There are a bunch of songs from the early 2000s that really capture where I was at the time and this is one of them.

“Shimmer” by Fuel came across my path today and boy, it took me right back there. An interesting time in my life and one that guided me onto my current path.

In the depths of depression, I managed to crawl over to the Woo and came to understand that it had always been there waiting for me when I was ready.

It was there in my early 20s when I had a surge of weird psychic knowings come over me and had no idea what to do with them other than predict things at purely random times.  I tucked it back into the corner because it was too much like what my mom had and it didn’t seem to make her very happy.

The Woo came around again in my 30s as I stood in a New Age store in a local mall and had this thought come through me, gentle but strong :”I belong here.  I don’t know why, I don’t know how but I belong here.” I tucked it away again because it was inconvenient to have to acknowledge my then boyfriend was a dumbass and possibly a cheating one at that.

It came one last time in my very early 40s after my world sorta caved in on me.  This time I said YES and opened the door, inconvenient knowings, mother-similarities and all.  And I’ve never looked back.

This song also reminds me of my sweet Lauren – because she shimmered like nobody’s business.  And like the line in the song says “you’re too far away for me to hold, too far away ….”  that’s how I felt about her.  (As I type this, I hear her say “Aunt Lisa, I’m right here!”)

So yeah, songs really stir up the memories for me.  You too, I suppose?

Health update: Anemic (no surprise), clear carotid ultrasound and waiting on MRI results.  Medical Intuitive thinks it’s energetically related to my shift while in Utah, anemia showing the need for attention to my body and my ability to carry bigger energy and some digestive wonkiness.  We’ll see what the doc says.  I feel fine (a little tingly now and then but MI feels that’s digestive related and has me timing when the tingles come on.  More as it develops.