Dear Three People who read my blatherings,
It’s been a long couple of weeks what with hospital/health issues, Duty’s job chaos, the possibility of returning to ye olde place of employ and up-leveling myself AND PI. I was doing fine, buoyed along by faith but yesterday, I just crashed.
I know this is a tumultuous time for so many, energies shifting and shaking and I’m certainly not immune to that. But even with the faith I hold in the Universe and the myriad ways it makes things happen, some days I just don’t have the energy to hold that faith flag aloft.
One of the things that stressed me out horribly at Ye Olde Place was when many people wanted my attention and I felt pulled in a thousand directions. I get angry and resentful. And spin out.
That’s what was going on yesterday.
My day consisted of this:
* a call in the morning with my new Virtual Assistant to get things moving
* monitoring Duty’s emails and calls for updates on job situations and responding to them as if I were him (he was otherwise engaged outside the house)
* a virtual work day with my mastermind group for three hours which involved my mentor and I talking with another member for 45 minutes on the phone using our specific woo skills to support her (and because I was already in breakdown mode, I got NOTHING done on my own PI stuff).
* a sixty minute class to record for my Level One students
* re-writing and organizing D’s resume for specific job skills
* dodging calls and emails from Ye Olde Place who are bound to make me an offer I fear I won’t be in a position to refuse
And some other fussy crap I won’t list here.
I just crashed.
Things are just going to be a jumble for a while. I have to accept that this is the ‘new normal’ and flow with it.
I have faith that the Divine is moving things around and while I don’t always know why or how, I know when it happens.
Allowing the hand of the Divine to re-direct me (and Duty) to higher paths isn’t scary, per se. It’s more disconcerting. Almost like you’re being moved from one place to the other with no idea what is happening but knowing that when you get there, it will be the right place for the next part of your path.
And still we keep walking.
Shit, Snarks! This exhausted me just to *read*! No wonder you’re tired!
I am so tired of this Recession. It’s taken such a toll on so many of us. I think it makes everyone feel helpless, at the mercy of forces beyond our control. It’s hard to feel stressed about your health and your professional life and still be supportive of the hubs. I know you’re keeping the faith, but be sure to cut yourself some slack, too.
For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re going to get stuck back at Old Job because seriously, why the upleveling and health issues rattling you around only to plunk you back into nonsense you have clearly said you don’t want to do? You don’t have the energy to do both PI and Old Job. I don’t buy it. Give it a few months and see where you ultimately land.
My job is shaky (a week of being asked to do unethical/illegal things AND getting blamed for not doing it) and Derek moving to Antigua to do this massive project for family WAY beyond anything he’s ever done before – this is the kind of massive change we’re all up against, and where it lands, nobody knows!
I’m with Julie. Obviously, it will take Duty some time to find a new position, but I hope you can give it a chance to happen before you return to the Old Job.
Oh man! I’d hate to be in that position at work. I have a lot of trouble with that sort of thing. I feel ya. And the moving thing – well, I have faith it will work out for you but what a huge, huge change.
I honestly don’t know what is going on with my own shift, PI and the day job. Duty is trying hard to stay out of fear (he turned down a job that was offered at a 40% pay cut!) but if it goes on too long, he will crash. I felt like offering to go back to YOPoE was my way of really letting him know I’m with him in this. We’ll see how it shakes out.
HUGS to you.
Deep breath, challenges are given to us for a reason. At least that is what I keep trying to hold on to myself…
Loving you from a distance…
Jenn in California
I love ya and all will be okay. *me holds your hand*
Wow, this is really hard and challenging. I had no idea about Duty’s job situation — that will put pressure on you to return to work, which has me worried for you. Generally, for a woo-type person, or a creative type, having so much going on is tough. I don’t actually know how you do it. Perhaps you should give yourself permission to take 24 hours off to recharge? While the divine is shaking and rattling us, our goal is to learn how we can best cope?
Jody, he got laid off and it’s thrown him (and me!) for a loop. PI is doing really well but it’s not consistent enough for us to rely on. Of course, ye olde place of employ has just the spot for me (sobs) so unless he finds a new position stat, it’s back I go for a year.
Yikes … such a surprise, coming on the heels of your major transformation. Makes me think about stories and myths, and how this could be a real challenge to you. Be not afraid (says Joseph Campbell)! I hope something will come through for Duty.