Let’s have a chat about a few things, shall we?
First: stop trolling FB pages of people who annoy you JUST so you can roll your eyes at their manic shenanigans.
You know they’re manic. You know they post shit like it was their day job and YOU KNOW they bounce off the walls in their own head.
Stop going there and:
(a) look at why you do it (I like eye rolling and feeling superior)
(b) pretty much the feeling superior thing
(c) it’s like reading a novel where a lot of the pages are torn out and I’m left wondering what the author is talking about half the time but I’m still trying to piece it all together.
It feels like I’m inside the manic energy and makes me glad to once again retreat to the (relative) peacefulness inside my head.
Second: Be glad you’re old enough to know that passive-aggressive shit is stupid.
Impulse control is much easier at 53. I can think about it in my head, I might even rant about it in my journal but I don’t do it in real life (much). It’s part of being human. Still, I think about it *A LOT*.
Third: If you are offered the path of returning to Ye Olde Place of Employ because the timing doesn’t work out, suck it up and go. There are lessons either way and it will all work out for the highest good. Looking at it like you’re going to prison doesn’t serve you, your own business or the promise you made to Duty to step up.
(Lisa’s response: I know. I know. I keep hoping Divine Intervention will save me here and I’ve clearly laid out my intention to the Universe and said “Make it so.” and if so isn’t made, well, that’s not the path for my highest good.)
Fourth: Quit with the farting around. Just quit it. Why are you dragging your feet? You better look at this because it’s not doing you any favors. There are at least five things you KNOW you have to do now – just fucking get them done! This is a pattern for you from way back. What is the benefit of not doing them? Nothing. Just do it. Dammit.
This visit inside my head is brought to you courtesy of my Guide team who wanted me to get all this written out so I see what’s going on in black and white. Aren’t you glad you came along?
Duty update: Two phone interviews ahead + job fair today. He’s networking his ass off (along with applying to about 30 different jobs) so I have faith that it will pan out for him in one way or t’other. As for me and YoPoE: I have a meeting on Friday with the Complex Director for reasons I know not. It’s off-site, too, so something is afoot. (Yes, I’m secretly hoping for a job offer for Duty THIS WEEK so I can say a polite ‘no thank you’ to any offer. There’s always hope, y’all. Always hope.)
Oh, Duty! I hope it works out for him. And not just because you so very obviously don’t want to return to ye olde. I believe it’s harder for men to deal with unemployment and being let go. It’s probably just those old gender roles, but that doesn’t make it hurt less.
Love the “quit farting around” admonition. I could use that one myself.
If it makes you feel any better I had to force myself to not have a fit when I got home from work and instead of sitting my behind down at the laptop, I did D’s chores that I am assigned now that he is no longer here.
It’s funny that you do that with fb, if I visit people I dislike (or fan pages of people I dislike) I feel guilty. Who knows why our brains work like they do! Those reward systems up there must get it backwards.
Hoping against hope with all fingers crossed that Duty comes through with a great job and you can skip the servitude!!