My always and forever JGP
I sat there and cried for about a half hour, not believing what I read. How could this be true? How did it happen so long ago and I didn’t know?
I met Kim when we worked together at an investment firm back in Richmond, circa 1989. We bonded pretty much immediately and soon I was hanging out at her house on the river in Gloucester and going with her to all kinds of events. She was one of the most social people I had ever known, thriving in crowds of people.
We had adventures, oh yes we did. She was completely uninhibited and mostly didn’t give a flying fuck about anything. Even her weight never held her back much. We used to call each other JGP for “Jumbo Gal Pals” (a headline we saw on some gossip rag about Delta Burke and someone else).
She was the one who had gastric bypass surgery in 1996 and when she told me about it, I thought “You are out of your friggin’ mind!” but when I saw her? Holy shit! She was gorgeous! (She always was but she gained a lot of confidence when she lost the weight and pretty much glowed.) Seeing her changed my mind on it and I looked into the surgery. “Only this surgery and only this doctor” she said.
I followed her advice and made one of the best decisions in my life. She supported me every step of the way.
It really would be hard for me to overstate her positive influence on my life in so so many ways. We had fun, we had secrets, we trusted each other unquestioningly.
She got married at her house on the river in 2000 and my first date with Duty was her wedding. We lost touch a bit after that but I knew that the marriage was a rocky one.
I just found the last email she wrote me in 2007 – the year she died. I wonder if her husband did it
“It’s nasty. Mar. 3rd this yr was the last time Ron held a gun to my head and instead of killing me “because I love you so much” he instead shot a bullet thru a window. Been trying to get to this spot since Aug ’04. I’m strong, fine, great faith and inner strength. I’m also now safe, had alarm system reconnected, phones, electricity, locks changed, ya-da. Began writing my novel, should be a best seller!! :-) New friend is married to a cop who specializes in domestic violence, big help. Gloucester County has a wonderful program where Chesterfield had NONE. I love Ron or who I would like for Ron to be very much but, we can’t safely live together. He took everything!! I had to file for Chapter 13 bankruptcy which I hope I can stop before going into the bankruptcy program so that I don’t lose any potential for future investment career. YIKES!! But, I’ve come this far and lived thru it!!
I’ve been running with the wind since having him removed from my home on July 5th by a protective order trying to save my life, animals and home and learn about LAW and divorce. Gotta listen good to people.”
She did not live an easy life at all and I won’t be surprised if she died by his hand. I’ve been searching and searching for an obituary or something that would give a clue. I did find that he died in 2010.
“Live fast, die young ….” She did that for sure.
I know it seems weird to miss someone you (obviously) haven’t been in contact with since 2007 but it’s true. Kim was such a huge part of my life in Richmond and it’s like she’s frozen in time with that part of my life.
Oh my one and only JGP, I miss you. And I look forward to hearing from you now that I know where you are. :)
Gone from the physical but never ever forgotten.
Have you tried legacy.com? Also, the newspaper in her home town would have covered this if it was a murder.
It’s not something I like to dwell on, but I was in an abusive relationship for most of my 20s. And I got out. So women do get out, Snarkela. Just because her life was short doesn’t necessarily mean that it ended unhappily.
And wherever your friend is now, she is free. She is *free.* It’s a beautiful thought, isn’t it?
I’m so sorry! It must have been such a huge shock for you to discover that she’d passed.
I lost the last member of my immediate family (father) in 2009, and during Christmas season of 2011 I decided to try and find my cousins on my mother’s side, both in their fifties. Instead I found a webpage, obviously set up by my cousin’s son, giving birth and death dates for both cousins. No details on how they died. It was devastating to read and my solitary Christmas season was spent doing much crying.
And both of my HS boyfriends died young, one at 32 and the other at 37 (the second one was murdered, and the murder has never been solved).
Again, I’m sorry, and I hope Kim is able to come to you at some point.
Oh Lisa, what a shame! I hope she comes to you and you can have a chat. It certainly sounds like she understood but was in deep denial about the threat she was living with. That can be surreal and so hard to accept when you are faced with a loved one who is in truth an abuser.