Every morning when I awake, the Universe turns the radio station in my head up a bit louder so I can hear what’s playing. Today it was “Under the Bridge” by Red Hot Chili Peppers.
This song is reminiscent of a really confusing time in my life. Kids, don’t get mixed up with someone who is borderline personality disordered if you can help it. It will only make you crazy and sad. There is just no filling that hole in their life. No matter how hard you try, what you do or who you are. It’s not your damn hole to fill and trying to do it feels wrong and brings heartache.
So, there’s that.
Further ponderings on why this little girl chooses those who cannot give her back what she gives and how she isn’t even sure she really even wants that because it would scare the shit out of her.
Now, onto other mundane items
(Gal, look away for the first two mundanities. They involve FB.)
- I am not at all into food porn. Jesus. Some days my FB newsfeed is awash in pictures of food. Why is that a thing? I. do. not. care. what. you’re. eating.
- And speaking of stupid shit – people, try to be at least a little bit interesting on your statuses. “It’s vacation!” – why should I care? Where are you going? What are you doing? Who are you with? Maybe? Perhaps you can also post pictures of your food while you’re there, eh? (/snark)
- Zippy cat is an ass. I imagine he will chill out in about 30 years or so. Currently, though, he’s an ass. (It is fun to watch him chase the laser pointer, I gotta say.)
- Duty and Neighbor Greg took the new (to us) boat out yesterday for its virgin run and it did well. Duty, however, did not. It was very hot out, he wasn’t hydrated enough and almost passed out. I am not the only chubber in this family – he has gained and kept on a lot of weight and it really affects him when he can’t move around the way he’s used to. Also, dehydration really takes him down.
We both need to do something stat about this issue and we talk circles around it as we sit on the couch and wish for a healthier body. We are lazy asses, through and through. That’s my influence on him, alas. When we met, he was into a lot more physical things. Now, he sits on the couch and watches TV.
I’m not criticizing him – far from it. I recognize that for whatever reason, my energy seems to be what makes the house go (or not). Despite his protestations to the contrary and his bluster about things, he follows my lead. And when I’m leading the way to an ass connected to a couch, he follows.
I want us both to be around for a while and feel like I can’t ignore this much longer (although I’m doing a good job of trying). Seeing him lying on the kitchen floor, red-faced and sweating is a good wake up call.
Anyway, I’d write more but you don’t want to hear my whining. Hell, *I* don’t want to hear it but, like radio station WWTF that plays in my head, I can’t ignore it. (If only I could.)
The carb thing works, but I think the trick is to find some foods that really satisfy you with flavor, taste, and an ability to fill you up. For me, I’ve discovered that I truly adore roasted vegetables in olive oil. I allow about a tablespoon of aioli on ’em. I just eat gobs of ’em, an insane amount, and it just works for me. The problem with this sort of thing for you is that it seems like all the answers involve cooking, and you don’t like cooking. I also make vats of soup in the slow cooker and I eat oceans of it, no kidding … you’d be amazed), but, again, this involves cooking. I don’t have a magic answer for you — I hated cooking until the last two years. Something about my kitchen in my present house really turned me around. I don’t completely understand it since I’ve had beautiful kitchens before, but the lay-out of this one means that when I’m doing all the prep and cooking, I’m looking into the living area, and beyond that, to an amazing vista of trees showing through something like five sliding glass doors. I especially hated cooking when I was forced to do it for my family and when the kids were growing up. Now that I’m just me and Mark, I’ve started to really enjoy it, or at least I enjoy the outcome. So, again, no magic answer. Unfortunately, though, I kind of suspect that eating healthy means having to cook.
Jody,
Yes, and therein lies the issue, my friend. I would love to find someone to cook for me and just bring it so all I have to do is heat it up or something. That’s my dream when PI takes off! :)
I thnk I should take you grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s and Harris Teeter. There’s so much out there that’s incredibly healthy and filling. It’s so easy, really, even if you don’t cook! Do you have a Trader Joe’s near you? I could write you a shopping list.
Oh Lisa. I married what you are talking about there in the beginning. And yet, when he is here, he runs the house energy and it is in a GOOD way. Gets my ass up and working and cleaning and dare I say it, SMILING. So I guess these things can work both ways. However I miss having him here a really, really lot and don’t see a way out of our we-live-in-separate-countries=for-no-good-reason situation.
That said, the similarities continue because I am f-a-t and he is needing to do some major health changes because his Menieres has turned his life upside down (literally) with the vertigo/dizziness in a huge way. I cut out carbs just for fun (meat, water, broccoli, fruit, repeat) and added 20 mins-1 hr low key exercise and I am feeling waaaaaay better. May even drop some poundage.
Anyway just dropping by for whatever good it does us to chime in,”I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.”
:)
Julie, aren’t relationship dynamics interesting? They help us grow (in all kinds of ways! heh) and challenge us on every level.
I feel so much better when I cut way back on carbs and I’ve done it several times but damn if I choose to continue it. (See? Personal responsibility FTW!) Those carbs have a lot of comfort power, alas. But yeah. I’m right at that same spot of “I gotta DO something now”.
I know you miss the hubs and I hope at some point (sooner rather than later) you guys get to all be together again.
Don’t get mixed up (in any way) with someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, either. Or, really, any of the Cluster Bs (borderline, narcissistic, antisocial…). Their capacity for empathy is limited or nonexistent.
Hi Sharon and HELL YES to that! Seriously, I had no idea what I walked into but I was not the same person walking out. When he reappeared in my life many years later, I was in a different place and could see a walking train wreck a million miles away and saw that as true growth on my part. A friend of mine is married to someone with self-medicated (alcohol and drugs) bi-polar and it’s hellish to watch from a distance. So yeah, run! Run like the wind!
Kwiz,
Thank you for your clever (to come) updates. I’m Grumpy McGrumpersons today so take whatever I say with 30000 grains of salt. :)
I am guilty of announcing that I am on vacation. Because the end of the school year is dizzying in its obligations and work that I’m always almost dazed that I made it out alive. I will try to be more clever this year. With two and a half days left, not that I’m counting down or anything…