There, I’ve said it. Universe, I am open to new, deeper friendships.
The kind of friendship that is both give and take, where I feel comfortable taking in the same measure as I give.
Remember that meltdown I had back a few months ago about how I must give off those “I don’t need anything” vibes? And how I realized I had to be the one to open up to receive what people might be offering?
After a shit-ton of work with my wonderful coach, I’m beginning to understand some of what all that was about. Digging in the dirt (energetically) and finding the genesis of the betrayal on a soul level that has been a big part of this lifetime and all the others has been interesting and enlightening.
Over the course of my adult years, I’ve had many kinds of friendships: work ones that fade when you leave, close ones that just poof in the night when you go separate ways, a couple that have stood the test of time and ones that grow and deepen.
Of the close friendships I’ve had recently, two have turned to shit fast mostly because I ignored the warning signs. I didn’t want to see what was right under my nose because to acknowledge it would hurt. A lot. I might release the friendship but I would never go vindictive on someone. So when it happens to me, it feels twice as bad.
But having excavated some of what is going on (in this life and others), I think I get it now. (Or, at least part of it, anyway!) It’s time to bring in some new energy, new friends who also don’t care for the vengeance model of life and prefer one that is not built around past hurts.
I so value those of you who read this here blog and comment. You’ve been with me on this journey and have mirrored back to me what I needed to see. Thank you.
And let it be known far and wide that I am ready now to create some space for friends who see me and allow me to see them.
This seems like a good place to say this — Your sending a contribution to my friends in the Keys … WOW! You are an exceptional person. I am proud that you consider me a friend.
Laurie, you are so sweet! Thank you for that. I respond whenever Spirit calls my attention to something and like a good intuitive, I take action. I got a really nice note from him yesterday and was very touched. Good people do good things with money, right? :)
Luckily I’ve had some old friends come back around during my current boringness :) I like what you said there, I am open to NEW friendships. Life with good friends is just so much better, and for a while there I felt like I had no in-person friends at all, just my husband’s associates who were supposed to help me out when he left but scattered like the wind.
I do see people going all retaliatory and vindictive on someone’s butt, usually men make it a serious business and women do it through the mighty sword of untrue gossip. I know it has happened to me but once I started standing up for myself and who I am it seemed to help that a little bit. Kind of like, these are my flaws and these are my wonderfuls, like it or there’s the door.
Oh Lisa, I do wish you the very best of friends, the kind that are just right and perfect for what you need. You are a really excellent mirror, and so supportive, I can see how it would be easy for people to fall into the “here is my sob story” trap, where they lean on you and you become Mom rather than an equal partner friend. But if that happens it can be fixed by you offering more of what you need, sharing more of yourself, which can allow the other person to have the space to be a safe place for you, as well.
When I said the same thing, about 5 years ago, I was heard. I have since developed two of the best friends I’ve ever had. It’s so gratifying and good to feel, deep in my heart. I’m very happy about it! (In fact, going to see Bette Midler tonight with one of them!) I completely and utterly KNOW that the universe will answer you.
And, well, I consider you a friend. Seriously.