Maybe it’s because we had our front room redone (ripped up the icky carpet and put down wood flooring and got a new sofa) that I lost the urge to put up the tree.
Or maybe it’s because I know it wouldn’t last long with Zippy being as young and kitten-like as he is. And maybe it’s just my funky state of mind.
Life feels gray to me these days and I think it’s a combo of thyroid meds (yes, again with the apathy so I’ve upped my anti-depressant dose to see if that works), feelings of failure in general (business stuffs in particular) and random other crap.
I find pockets of joy (baby-holding and chatting with my aunt Connie, for example) but mostly it feels like I’m going through the motions. I know the meds have something to do with this but not all of it can be attributed to that.
Bonus! Duty and I have colds now, thanks to me kissing on my Godson. Duty has it worse than I do (or he’s acting like it) – I just feel low-level pooty. Bright side is that we’ll get this mess over before Christmas and feel decent again in time for festivities.
I am so tired of whining, you guys. I’m tired of being depressed, bummed out and sad. I know it’s a mix of chemical blah and life-blah and I am just not sure how to kick its ass.
All I want for Christmas is David Cook motivation and joy. Motivation to get back into my business and joy everywhere else. I want the blanket of gray to go away, new friends to talk with and share stuff with, space to do my work for real and exercise. (WHO WROTE THAT LAST PART? Spirit Guides, are you messing with me??)