* I am way too pinged by my own body to be in the body positivity movement. I admire those who don’t give one damn about how they look and wear what they want, etc. and live and let live but there’s too much junk in my head? trunk? for me to embrace it. This is one of those ‘you know it intellectually but feel it personally’ kind of things.
* The Crisis Text line is a bit more challenging than I thought and in a very different way. I spend the bulk of my time in a group of friends who are very motivated to grow and change and take risks. I thought most people were that way and I’m learning that is so not the case. The people who text in are often lost, have some mental health challenges that makes moving forward difficult, and without hope or a feeling that they can change their situation in any way. Hopelessness is especially hard for me because it’s the energy my mom lived in most of her life and it weighs on me like a heavy, suffocating blanket. I get all spazzy like I have to ‘fix’ their situation and that’s not my place/role at all. But that energy is so uncomfortable to me that I want to make it change right away. Acknowledging that I’m triggered by it helps and I work hard to stay with the texter where they are but …. yeah. Challenging on lots of levels.
* The Prince work keeps speeding up, like a train I once had control of and now has just gone off the tracks and is zooming a mile a minute. (Whoa, Nellie!) There’s a FB page set up for it, I’ve been ‘chatting’ with people at the Prince.org site (where I’ve run into a lot of skeptics, as usual. All good. I’m learning.) and people are waiting for me to put out the Saturation Session offers. I’ve been dragging my feet for a bunch of reasons (scared to offer for money, maybe? P has his own rules for things and I so want to say “I didn’t come up with the price” (because it’s higher than I am comfortable with) but he’s all about “put it out there and move on”. This whole thing has called me even more into the bigness of who I’m willing to be and how I claim (or don’t!) it.
* Trip to Salt Lake City a couple weeks ago was great. I love working with Angella’s clients and have really found my own space in doing so. It was really nice to sleep in a damn bed after couch surfing all summer.
I’ve started 4 posts in the last month and nothing’s coming out the way I want, hence this “Imma just say it” thing.
Hope you all are having a lovely September.