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From the edge of the deep green sea

May 20, 2013 Written by Lisa

bckg_deep_green_sea

This is a snippet of a song by The Cure called “From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea” – as brooding, turbulent and intense of a song as you’ll hear.  

And these are my favorite lines from it – because there have been times in my life where I found myself in that turbulent place and tried to pretend it away.

Never never never never never let me go she says
Hold me like this for a hundred thousand million days
But suddenly she slows
And looks down at my breaking face
Why do you cry? what did I say?
But it’s just rain I smile
Brushing my tears away

I wish I could just stop
I know another moment will break my heart
Too many tears
Too many times
Too many years I’ve cried over you

If you’re inclined to listen to some intensely tortured music, you can check out the live version here.

(PS: This song came in front of me today and I was reminded of someone I miss – so this one’s for them, wherever they may be.)

Blah blah blah

I’m still here – just stuck in a whirlwind of my own creation

May 14, 2013 Written by Lisa

Dear 5(?) fans of Snarkypants-land,

As usual, I’m here trying to excuse my absence but the truth is, every time I come to write something, nothing comes out. I’ve started three posts in the last few weeks and sit in front of a blank screen trying to decide what to say.

I’m as tired of hearing myself whine as you all are. It’s a lot worse inside my head, let me tell ya.

So, I’m going to focus on the good (for this post, don’t get all excited about it being permanent, mmkay?) and see where it takes me.

PJ: Dog of Love and Pajamas

PJ: Dog of Love and Pajamas

In a haze of “I want someone to love and adore me”, I decided that the answer was a dog named Pearl. Yes. Part rottie, part hound or something, she’s a lovebug alright.

She’s also terribly undisciplined and both headstrong AND submissive at the same time. (I don’t know how that works in her own mind, truly.) I’m not (totally) sorry we got her but I did not really understand nor did I want the amount of work it’s taking to help her do well. She gets carsick so every drive to Camp Melissa is an adventure. She snarfs her food like it’s going out of style and while she’s (thankfully) not mean about it, she does tend to horn in on Brogan’s portion and he’s already a picky eater as it is. Yet, it’s the warmth of her eyes and the feel of her full body against me when she snuggles with me that makes all that worthwhile(ish).

As an aside: Duty and I surely would have been divorced if we had a child because our parenting styles are beyond different. I lack the discipline gene that he has in spades and our child would have been torn between ‘pushover mom’ and ‘discipline dad’. There is no winning that game at all for any of us. Best we have dogs and I learn how to be more disciplined in a way that won’t send anyone to therapy years later.

Anyway, it’s been an adventure bringing a new energy into our pack but as the days go by she fits in a bit better. What with the horrendous car fears/motion sickness issues and the one time we put her in a crate away from Brogan and went out, she just about lost her shit, it’s been interesting. Still, not dealbreakers.

Happy Happy Joy Joy! My pilot course on teaching others how to do good, useful intuitive readings filled right up! I was so damn happy! I feel I’ve found a bit of my sweet spot with getting back on track focusing on spirit guide work and this is just more reassurance that it’s totally the case. All good things going on at PI.

Mother’s day was nice – I got twisty swirl ice cream from Duty (I asked him to fetch it and he did!), cards and a ride on my bike to the water for some peace. Lovely day, all the way around.

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings

I guess that wasn’t so bad after all

April 26, 2013 Written by Lisa

Dear three five readers,

Well, I made it through the time of astrological turmoil unscathed, I think. YEY! It WAS definitely a time of intense revelations (as I wrote about last time) – all of which I diligently worked through (and again, big ass thanks to my coach who has been with me this whole way).

whew

It all started with me worrying that the Universe was going to take something (someone) away that I loved. And it ended with a closer relationship with my Dad (now in Spirit) and a willingness to be open to letting other things BE in my life.

Looking at how my mom just shut herself down after she was forced to give up the love of her life and then again after my dad died, I see that I also do that in certain areas. (As I mentioned in the last post as well.)

OPENING up my heart to what I want and even more OWNING that I want it is my next level of work. You’d think that would be easy, right? hahahah You know me not, my friends! :) But what you DO know and what IS true is that I will walk into that work and see what’s waiting for me. Because there is joy and growth there (and you know I’m all about the personal growth, yo.).

Stay tuned.

On other non-life-transforming fronts:

* Looking at another doggie named Pearl. (That name will change. It reminds me of old people. She’s not really a Cookie, much as I want her to be, alas.) We’ll see how she gets along with the Broganator. I have no idea why I’m doing this which is often not such a good sign. We’ll know for sure when we meet her tomorrow.

* Ever the Libra: I don’t overly mind going in to work at ye olde place of employ every day but all told, I’d rather not. But then (here comes the Libra voice) I never got much accomplished when I hung out at home all day so even if I want to stay home and have delusions about doing all kinds of cool stuff, in reality, I mostly fart around. Probably better that I take my ass somewhere and accomplish something.

* Over at Practically Intuitive, I’ve come home to doing what I know I do really well and, as an extra added bonus, I’m actually claiming it! I have no idea how I got to be a hugely clear channel for Spirit Guide teams but I am. And I’m seriously awesome at it. So, claiming and owning that 100% instead of making it just another tool in the toolbox. All this makes me laugh (in a sort of sad, ironic “what a dumbass you can be” sort of way) because I started out my woo-career (professionally) doing SG readings and then meandered onto another path and another and finally another only to end up right back here where I started.

I supposed I had to go through those path$ (and spend a lot of money doing it) to acknowledge what I knew was true all along. My gifts are thus: 1) Channel for Spirit Guide teams 2) writer 3) ability to take their guidance and help people turn words into actions 4)help them do it with a warm, loving heart and 5)see others at soul level and help them see that, too. I know my focus now – and I’m running with it (at full speed, mind you!)

Ta for now, darlings!

Blah blah blah, Guides and Teachers, Lists and more lists, What's that about?

Revelations unbound

April 13, 2013 Written by Lisa

Warning: this is turning out really long. Sorry about that.

what-a-revelation

Back in January, I had an astrologer look at my natal chart for this year to give me a sense of what energies will be around me. Now, you all probably know I’m not a believer in events written in stone but I do think there are energies around that offer space to grow and change in them. So, that’s mostly what I was seeking.

Both the astrologer and another friend who did a year forecast month-by-month indicated things were brewing in April and so, fearing the worst (as I do!), I have been in a frenzy and holding my breath waiting to see what energies were coming.

They started swirling early for me and leaving Crossfit (and Pilates) were a result of the revelations that came through. Pretty big ones, actually. I worked with them, left crossfit and kept on walking, having done that rather large piece of it.

Next step, then? (Because there’s always a next step, yo.)

Fortunately, my coach Jaelin can hear my Guides really, really well (when I can’t) and she was able to bring them through to tell me a couple things: Read More »

Blah blah blah, General Blatherings, What's that about?

Land of hodges and podges

March 31, 2013 Written by Lisa

daffodils Hello and happy Easter to all my wonderful blogpalz who leave me comments (and even those of you who don’t!)

Most of my posts these days are either catch-up ones or rants. This is more of the former with a dash of the latter.

Back to work

It’s been okay so far. The schedule stuff helps keep me organized and disciplined (after 30 years of it, how can it not?) and I still have time to do what I want. I leave the office at 1:45pm and that’s round about the time I start getting bored and antsy so it works perfectly. No traffic, no hassle, just peace.

It’s also nice to be able to see my friends, check in to see what’s going on with them and generally be around people I know and like. So, win/win for me there. Plus! Mundane tasks! Woo hooo! Although I do have to learn about and pass a dumb test on Structured Products (don’t even ask) and realized that all investing and financial stuff is just masturbation with money. Really. That’s all it is. It feels so stupid to me.

Thing is, I do believe money is an energy exchange. But making all these complicated ways to invest just seems futile to me. And they all take it so very seriously. Just the wrong energy for me to be dabbling in.

Shifting out of Crossfit and Pilates

I’d go into this in more detail but it involves a LONG story and details that only make sense to me. I’ll just say that the lessons I needed to get through both these fitness programs have been learned to the extent I can learn them at this point. It’s time to re-think where to go next with regard to my body. For now, riding my bike feels really nice and I’ll be doing that more as the weather gets nicer.

RE: Crossfit – I may go back at some point. I really liked what I achieved there and the confidence level I got as I did things I never thought I’d be able to do. Just right now it was too hard and I hated hearing myself say “I can’t do that” and “I can’t do this” – so, shifting for now.

Bidness

Thanks to my wonderful coach, I’ve managed to steer myself back on track with PI. Since the debacle in January with that teacher who tore my ass up, I have re-directed my focus and content to who I am and what I want to share. I’ve stopped trying to follow all the rules of what I’m “supposed” to do and am back to being Just Lisa. That was definitely the way to go since people are showing back up for me. It’s nice.

It’s been said that going into business for yourself is one of the biggest growing experiences in a lifetime. I concur. Like a big dog, I concur. In the past year, I feel like I’ve grown more than in about 20 years previously.

(And, if you know me at all, you know I’m all about the growing and learning so when I say it’s a HUGE growth train, I’m talking high-speed monorail!)

And now, a sweet rant

Dear Christians who are so damn self-righteous,

Seriously, get down off your high-f’in-horse! I know the tenets of your belief apparently allow you to claim how right you are about every damn thing and that anyone who deviates from that is going to hell pronto. Guess what? That’s pretty much crap. Yep. It is.

But beyond that, here’s my issue: Your beliefs are YOURS. They do not extend to the rest of the world and no one is mandated to follow YOUR beliefs. Don’t believe in gay marriage? Don’t marry a gay person, then. Abortions are bad? Don’t have yourself one.

But who are you to tell everyone else what is right and what is wrong?

Who. the. fuck. are. you?

Who are you to decide what is right for others? What does it matter who marries whom? How does that affect you AT ALL? It doesn’t. AT ALL.

I cannot take that level of self-righteousness. Just cannot.

Perhaps I was an oppressed gay person in another life time but this issue (and the self-righteous “You’re a sinner and going to hell”) pisses me off to no end. I don’t believe in a punitive God and I don’t give one rat’s ass what any Bible says. It is not my truth. I live my life based on my truth and don’t feel the need to castigate others for believing differently.

I WILL castigate them (as I’m doing presently) for acting like know-it-alls and deciding for others what is appropriate.

Ohhhh Grrrr!

(takes a sip of scotch tea and calms the fuck down.)

Deep breaths.

OMMMM Shanti OMMM

How’s your life going? Wanna share? I’d love to hear all about it!

Peace out.

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