Posts in category General Blatherings

It made my soul sad

January 29, 2017 Written by Lisa

Duty and I went to see “Hidden Figures” today (it was quite good) and there were a couple parts (well, more than a couple) that just made my heart and soul so sad. Like, I could have just started crying right there in the theatre about the way women in general and women of color in particular were treated.

I know that’s how it was and that things have changed (and of course, more change is still needed desperately) but why was it okay to think people were inferior based on skin color? Or gender? Who decreed this to be THE TRUTH? White men, of course.

I’ve been hanging out in a lot of intersectional groups lately and have become much more attuned to these injustices but I always wondered why things like this were a certain way. When I was younger, I pondered why only men were allowed to be priests. Or why our government is made up mostly of white men. (Still is, alas.)

Apparently, back at my home planet, we didn’t pay much heed to those things and revenge and rage aren’t on the menu so this chick doesn’t ‘get’ this. At all. I get anger, yes. Felt it, too. But rage and revenge and doing things to purposely dick over people? Yeah, no. Not in this lifetime.

It’s possible I’m exquisitely sensitive and picking up more than my share of vibes that my heart and soul hurt at these injustices I am awakening to more and more and/or it’s possible I’ve lived lifetimes as an oppressed person and know the feelings from the inside out. Who knows?

Speaking of who knows, Jesus take all the wheels because our government has gone off the deep end in just one week. Trump is an energetic disruptor and an agent of change for higher consciousness and damn if he isn’t doing it at warp speed. This sponge girl got filled up with outrage early in the day and had to get wrung out every evening. When we look back at this time, we will see how it all had to happen this way for the shift that is needed. I don’t know if even Bernie could have brought it about so quickly.

A bumpy ride is ahead of us but I have a strange sense of calm about it (Facebook status posts to the contrary!) and we will come out of this in a different and better place.

What's that about?

Step away from the keyboard, yo!

January 24, 2017 Written by Lisa

I cannot keep up with the cyclone of news coming at me these days. And what’s interesting to me is that I really can take in a lot of information, almost like a sponge. So when I’m completely full up, you know there’s a lot swirling.

Since I was in Utah over the last week (during the Inauguration, thankfully), I was involved all day, every day in client stuff and didn’t have time to sit in front of my laptop lapping up every morsel.

(And really, don’t I have better uses of my time? Yes, I do. Do I do them? No, I do not.)

It was during this time I realized how damn addicted I am to my news/analysis shows (The Young Turks) and online commentary since I was jonesin’ for them by the end of the day.

I suspect all of this is – for me – a distraction. It engages my mind, I can easily go into outrage and then I don’t “have time” to do stuff on my business. So convenient. Especially when I’m in SPIN mode where I don’t know what I’m doing or how I want to do it.

Also, I have entirely TOO MUCH information coming at me from various courses I keep signing up for. It feels like I am drowning and I just can’t keep up.

I think it’s time for an online sabbatical. (Even ONE day would be difficult for me. Sadly.)

What I might have to do is pare down the number of political pages I follow where the outrage is amped up (warranted because of insanity/corruption/fuckery in the White House).

I follow a few that talk about taking daily action and I have called my asshat Teabagger congressman’s office on the regular, written letters and done what I can. I have connected with the Queen Anne’s County Democratic Party and will attend their next meeting. (They are slow as molasses addressing comments on social media. Maybe I can help with that part.)

But me drowning in every minute detail of what Trump is doing is not helping me or anyone else. I am not effective from that place of constant “Look! Squirrel!” energy.

It’s time for me to focus on what I need to do, do what I can on issues that are important to me and ways I can best offer my services and get back into my business.
Speaking of which, how did I lose my way? (I listened outside myself is what happened.) I want to fold the Prince work into my site (I suppose I’ll keep the Purple Saturation site still separate for now) and get my damn self out there. The Be Who You Are stuff came flowing out so naturally and the LisaMW stuff is just stuck. (I know. I know.)

Bottom line: Get your head out of your ass and back in the game. Ignore the Trump outrage, do your part and get off line for parts of the day. (Ugh, I love and hate routine.)

How are you all doing? Gal? Kwiz? Jody? Fill me in!

Blah blah blah, Land of Archuleta, Political, True Fax

And a happy new year!

December 31, 2016 Written by Lisa

I’m still here, yo. Still working on my newish site which had to take a backseat because I agreed to do someone else’s site. Why? I do not know. None of what I’ve done with this client has made sense or been a fit and yet, I did it AND took on more. Way to procrastinate there, girl!

However, it’s moving along albeit slowly.

Here’s what I notice about myself: I sure do love to take online group courses and then not show up. Or show up a little and then pretend none of it is going on at all. Why am I doing that? It adds to my feelings of overwhelm which are in top form right now. Papers are piling up on the table in front of me and I just push them aside and go on ignoring them.

Wheee!

How was your Christmas, if you celebrate that? Ours was nice and peaceful. I made some really bad Italian cookies, ate lots of food, gave and received some lovely gifts and all in all, had a nice holiday. Much better than last year when I was taken out by almost-pneumonia.

Wishing all three of youse a wonderful 2017. Cheers to some extra Snarkypants!

Not very grounded at all

October 6, 2016 Written by Lisa

Hello all three friends,

Your intrepid reporter is back from a jaunt to Seattle to see Cousin O’Love and family. Barely three weeks after I returned from a jaunt to Utah, Duty and I went to Seattle to celebrate our 16th anniversary and Cousin’s 34th.

I wasn’t as taken with Seattle as I imagined I would be. Tons and tons of traffic and crazy drivers + not truly knowing where we were going + Duty getting spazzy because I wasn’t giving him the directions and/or information the way he could make sense of it = meltdown for me on day one. I was ready to turn around and go home. Fortunately, D and I talked it out and he was much less spazztastic the rest of the trip.

It’s always a challenge to be out of your routine for any length of time and I had just gotten back into my room and set up my office space when it was time to leave again.

Because of this, I came home floating somewhere off in space. The energies are (as usual these days) wonky which doesn’t help so I’ve yet to touch ground. This was not (IMO) the best re-entry into my Purple Saturation work. I did three sessions today, one right after another and I felt the energy was off. I was off. I don’t think it impacted the sessions in any material way (or Prince would surely let me know) but I wasn’t in the right Lisa-space for it.

Saw this quote today and it hit me – I am not sad. I am totally in depression meltdown once again thanks to the dumb thyroid meds. I’m going to have to up my AD levels again because today, I have zero fucks to give about anything. Prince. Business. New bathroom/bedroom. Don’t care. Just don’t.

“When you’re depressed, nothing has any meaning. When you’re sad, everything does.” Gloria Steinem on difference between sad and depressed.

I’m sure this will pass. For right now, though, everything feels gray and murky.

Blah blah blah, I got nuthin

Interesting

August 4, 2016 Written by Lisa

In the past month, two of my clients (one former, one current) have stepped into high dollar programs to help with their business.

Neither program is a fit for who they are as people nor is it a fit for where they are in their business (pretty much just a whiff of an idea).

I remember doing just that myself back in the day. Hiring this coach and that, in the hopes that they would give me just the right formula, procedures, guidelines and checklists to make it all come together perfectly into a six-figure success.

The hard won (and dollars lost) truth is that nothing like that ever really works. Sure, it might be a fix temporarily but you’ll see you’ve built a business you hate. (That happened to my former coach. She was making ‘six-figures’ but couldn’t get out of bed in the morning because she hated the life she created.)

The first client stepped hard-core into a guru-star program. “Do it exactly this way and you’ll be a raging success.” – considering she doesn’t even have a clear idea who she is and what she offers, I can’t see that happening. But she lusted after structure and rules and someone to say ‘you can’t fail if you do it my way’.

I so get that. I wanted someone to clear away all the noise that exists online and all the voices in my head that say “you don’t know what you’re doing and everyone else does and you will fail”.

Maybe she will make it work for her. She is an amazing dynamo who usually trusts her inner knowing and follows it, convention be damned. Of all the people for whom this kind of program wouldn’t work, it would be her. Thing is, the fear of not being able to do this (create a thriving business) kicks us all in the ass. And that’s how these big dollar programs call you in – through that fear.

Fear is primal. It gets you to move when nothing else will. It did for me, it did for her and for so many millions of others, in all kinds of ways, fear is the ultimate motivator.

So, I understand. And I also understand that it is part of her path at this point, as it was mine at another point. Since it’s not my place nor was I asked to give permission / opinions, as her friend, I only asked her to make sure her needs were addressed and to keep her self-authority and trust her inner knowing like she has for most of her life.

My (current) client found some online thing where they add your story to a compilation book to be published and help you market the book, etc. The marketing was all about being a published author, getting your story out there, all the opportunities that will open up for you as a published author and how it will bring you tens of thousands of clients and they help you build your site, blah blah blah.

BLECH!

Here’s why I blech: this lovely woman also doesn’t yet have a clear idea of who she is or what she does. She has desires and we are working on narrowing that down into a form that speaks to what she does to support others. But she is not in a space in her business to do this. At all.

This is what spoke to her: someone will help me build my site because it overwhelms me to do it. And that’s almost the same thing as my first client. Someone will take my hand and do this with/for me so I don’t have to deal with what comes up as I dig into it.

Again, I get it. (This is the challenge of being a 29 degree Libra – I see all sides of all the sides.)

As her coach / mentor, I’m not there to make decisions for her. Do I think it’s a monumentally bad idea? Yes. I think she’s thrown away $3000 on a pipe dream she can’t fulfill right now. And it will crash her into hard overwhelm and derail her in serious ways.

But my role is to support her decisions and walk with her on that path, as others have done for me along mine.

(I wish someone had spoken up but when I think back on it, they did and I chose not to listen. So, also a stubborn ass in pursuit of not feeling the fear channel that was playing 24/7 in my head)

One of the points of all this whining is that I see myself in these choices.

I see myself four years ago, scared that I didn’t have what it took to make this work. (I still wonder that, sometimes)

Scared that I didn’t trust my own self enough to figure it out.

Scared that I’d be seen as a failure somehow and if I stood under the wing of someone who did know exactly how to do it, I’d surely succeed.

Instead, I crashed and burned. Hard.

It taught me that I am not one who can live in a box very well. I don’t like people telling me it has to be done this certain way or you’re wrong. I don’t like hiding what it is I can really do so I can be more palatable to others. I’m not a glitzy, glamorous girl. I’m a casual chick who needs a ton of freedom, quiet, peace and joy. A six-figure business is not my dream. A business that helps others, allows me to bring out my wonderful skills and allows me to connect with people and oh yeah, make a profit too – that’s my speed.

So, a mirror is being held up to remind me of who I am. And where I was. And how I’m no longer there now.

Light Bulb, What's that about?