I, Lisa M. Snarkypants, of somewhat sound mind and a bit too much body, do hereby swear to tell the truth, the whole(ish) truth and nothing but the troof, so help me God.

I freely admit the following with the understanding that all this can and will be used against me in a court of law:

1. I spent 65% of my morning at work reading all the True Blood forums at Television without Pity. Even though each episode thread was more than 25 pages long, I slogged through most of them and realized that the bulk of the posts were all about how “hawt” Erik the Vampire is and what a moron Sookie is. But hey, it killed some time.

2. I spent 30% surfing websites for information on spiritual coaching so I could see what kinds of things people are offering out there. Much of it seems to be a lot of words trying to sell you stuff. I’m not fond of that. And clearly, the IN-THING is to write articles that are really devoid of information but give you fluff-filled lists. It’s crap, I tell you. (Much like my little lists here!)

3. I spent 5% doing what little work there was for me to do.

4. I spent most of the afternoon writing a new post for Practically Intuitive and it’s almost finished. What can I say? I got in a flow. Now, must edit said flow. DONE!

So, as you can see, I freely admit that I did just about no work today. Lots of people are out of the office or just coming and going at will. My ass gets paid to sit in that chair and look like I care so that’s what I do. YEY for the Internets!

Also freely admitted:

** I read all the Sarah Palin gossip I can get my hot little hands on. She’s a trainwreck of such massive proportions and I wallow in every single moment of it. I especially like The Immoral Minority because the proprietor keeps it current and has lots of juicy details. I am a shallow person but I cannot wait until Granny Grifter crashes and burns. The fact that she is where she is says more than I wish to hear about our culture and none of it positive.

** I prefer sleeping alone in my king sized bed. I’ve mentioned before that Duty snores like a maniac so he gets to sleep in the other room in the twin bed. Me? Since I’m the Queen, I sleep in the big bed in the big room. I have always slept alone even when I lived with other boyfriends. It’s what I’m used to and I will never be one of those people who cannot sleep without my partner there. (I know. I should live in a monastery, right?)

What else can I freely admit? Few things in my closet fit me. So, there’s that.

That’s all I’m admitting today. In fact, pretend I didn’t write any of this. I plead the fifth. Where’s my lawyer?