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Alive – mostly

July 6, 2010 Written by Lisa

Hello FOUR readers (waves to Niece of Artsy-Fartsy who informed me of her diligent readership),

Just in time to go back to work, I am kicking this cold (finally). It takes a lot of work for me to even remotely stay in my damn body and being sick doesn’t help at all. Last night, though, I had the best night’s sleep in almost a week so I think we are good to go now.

J4 was nice even though I took a powder in the middle of it. I went upstairs to pet the kitties (who stayed out of the way of a 3 year old running around the table saying “Meow, meow” at them) and totally dozed off on the bed. I didn’t sleep long -maybe 30 minutes – but missed Cousin O’Love and family’s exit from the party. I think they left in a stealth fashion, if you ask me. heh Everyone else seemed to have fun, from what I can tell. It KILLED me not to hold PB (or, as they call him P. Diddy) and I tried to stay somewhat away from him. (Sobs into pillow)

I have never, ever been one to be uber-patriotic, despite my interest in politics. Just not. I have a funky issue with the need to be “the best country ever ever ever” – why can’t we just be the best America and respect the contributions of other countries as well? Why must we be the “superpower”? Hell, we can’t even take care of our own citizens and our health care system is, what? 34th in the world? That’s sad, y’all. Just sad. Maybe it’s the non-competitor in me but that whole” MUST be the best” rubs me the wrong way. I don’t care about fireworks, flag waving or anything else like that.

Well, it’s back to work for me. I got the written report of my chat with Kelly & Dave so there’s lots of meaty stuff to dig into over at PI plus must do drawing for the winner of the reading for joining my newsletter. Speaking of which, I best get on that, yo. OY! So much to do. I love it. heh

Happy Tuesday – it’s gonna be near 100 degrees today and tomorrow with no rain in sight. Summer is well and truly here.

Much love and cookies,
Snarkela

Blah blah blah

babies, Down with the sickness, entertaining sucks, Godson of Love, work

If only!

May 17, 2010 Written by Lisa

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Dear kitteh,

Well, it wasn’t a bad day per se but it was a day where I chose to be invisible to my co-workers and they obliged me by not noticing me at all. That’s nice. One of the guys in my office is studiously and (to my view) obviously avoiding me and I have no idea why. Like he thinks I’m spreading bad ju-ju or something, I dunno. Weird.

Found out Cousin O’Love and Auntie G are going to Italy in October. (Sobs into pillow) It was three years ago this week that C O’L and I were there to celebrate what would have been La’s 21st birthday. I loved Italy. LOVED IT. And will go back sometime in the relative near future. (Obvs not with COL and AG, though.) I think I need a vacation STAT! Somewhere warm with an adult beverage or eleventy, massages, books, coffee and cool sheets (and Sparkela and Cookie).

On the happy side, I managed 15 minutes on the stationery bike. Duty would be mad at me if I didn’t do it since he did his 15. We’re supposed to be helping each other do some exercise and I didn’t do any last night. (I suck.) Plus, he fixed me a nice dinner (not quite a “peechy-tini” but close enough for me.)

I could whine more but I’ll stop here. Next time, can I have extra -tini, pleeb?

kthxbai,
Snarks

Blah blah blah, Lauren

David Cook, Get off my lawn, Ponderings, Really?

Sunny Sunday Stealing

April 18, 2010 Written by Lisa

Sunday Stealing: The Meme Time Meme

01. Real First Name: Queen Lydia of Snorglefoot – what? You don’t believe me? Well, it’s true.

02. Birthday: I haz one. I will not loves the one I’m hazzing this year as it’s one of those “big” -0 ones.

03. Where do you live: In a house. By water. With loves and (somewhat mangled) pets. And internets.

04: What are you studying/What are you working as: I currently masquerade as an operations manager at a financial services firm but most of it involves making sure stuff gets faxed with the right cover sheet on it (TPS reports, anyone?), (poorly) greeting clients as they come in and giving my boss energetic readings of mutual fund wholesalers so he can decide if they should present their funds to the office or not.

05. What makes you happy: Sunny days, my Ipod, holding babies, talking to my guides in Spirit, having kitties nestle in my lap while I’m watching television, finding long-lost friends on Facebook and eating.

06. What are you listening to now/have listened to last: The sound of the electric heater since it’s really chilly and we used up all the heating oil and don’t want to order more.

07. What is particularly good/bad about your blog: Particularly good: My dorky-ass sense of humor and unusual perspective on my life. Particularly bad: I realize I write about what’s going on in my own life so it might seem as if I have no interest in what’s happening outside of that. NOT TRUE, I say! When discussing politics, I tend to get extra-ranty and that messes up the energy of my light-hearted whining. I rant about current world events in many other places online.

08. An interesting fact about you: I almost never sleep sans panties.

09. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment: I’m moving past the honeymoon stage with sekrit boyfriend (into the comfortable stage) and am almost there with other sekrit boyfriend (who does, I admit, feed me a very steady diet of his life so it keeps me amused). So, comfortable loves but no crushes.

10. Favorite place to be: I almost typed “in my own body” but realized how wrong that was because that is my LEAST favorite place to be. Is that changing? Doubtful. Favorite place? By the ocean.

11. Favorite lyric: As always: “Make me fall for you / as if I have nothing else to do / Let me hold you true to everything I thought I knew

12. Best time of the year: Spring (warm days!) and Fall (cool days!)

13. Weirdest food you like: I don’t think I like anything that unusual – I do enjoy pizza crusts and will forsake the rest of the slice to gnaw on the crusts.

RECOMMEND

01. A film: Bridget Jones’s Diary – why? Because I love it and can (and have) watched it eleventy billion times. Bridget is really “every girl” at heart (IMO).

02. A book: “The Shock Doctrine” by Naomi Klein – Have I read it? Not yet – it’s really dense and a big read of a BIG issue.

03. A song: “Straight Ahead” by sekrit BF. Love this one.

04: A band: Oh, I don’t know.

PLUS

01. One thing you like about a blogger that you have not met: I wish I could scratch Gal out of this by having met her but that didn’t work out so I can say this about her: She has one of the hugest hearts of anyone I know. She feels things deeply and quite, quite often goes out of her way to help wherever she sees a need for it. I love that (and a million other things) about her.

02. Two things you like about yourself: I am highly attuned to the feelings of others (even when they try really hard to keep them buried) and take exquisite care not to intentionally hurt them. I’m also a big dork and when I get past my self-consciousness, I let that show. People seem to like that.

03. Name three things that you need in a lover: 1. that your name be David Cook 2. that your name be Hal Sparks and 3. that you be upstairs in my bed waiting for me as soon as I finish this fun meme.

And now, lulz:

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Memeage

David Cook, Hal Sparks, Random Meme

Oh, it is ON bitchez!

February 8, 2010 Written by Lisa

Dearest Darling Queen Mimi had the nerve to claim COOKie as her own sekrit boyfriend:

P.S. We have the same secret boyfriend. Mr. Cook is mine. Just sayin!

and I feel I must set her straight.

Did she:

* dial for four hours straight the night of the finale?
* stand online for four hours in the August sun to meet him for three seconds (most of which I stuttered through)?
* attend every concert within three hours of here this summer? (Four of them, to be exact)
* drag her ass 3.2 miles in the rain for brain cancer research?
* buy copies of his cd to give as gifts?

I rest my case. I’d go on but I’ve already embarrassed myself beyond what I normally do for this blog. Can’t have you peeking too closely into my inner world, you know.

Therefore, I claim him as my sekrit boyfriend even though I am neither younger, blonder nor thinner and cannot possibly be what seems to be “his type”. That’s why it’s a sekrit – he never has to know!

I was pondering this while I was snowbound this weekend: would it be easier to be Cookie’s girlfriend or Hal’s?On one hand, Dave is young and fun – like a puppy. He’s got a tender heart and there’s really no one who has met him that doesn’t like him. He falls in love easily, I’m betting. (Especially if you’re this chick. Really, Dave. What were you thinking?) But, you’d have to contend with a ZILLION jealous fan girls waiting to either say crap things about you or steal him from you. Being his girlfriend is not for the insecure. (So, yeah. That’s not me.)

Hal, on the other had, at 40 has been around a bit. And while there’s a bit of puppy playfulness about him, there’s also an awesome mind full of facts and ideas and funny stuff. This intrigues me. I couldn’t hope to keep up with him but it would be interesting trying. So, while I’d be lured by his mind, his humor and his arm porn (second only to Cookie’s), there’s the fact that he’s hard core straight edge which means no drinking (see? I couldn’t get him drunk and take advantage of him), no smoking (fine with me) and … he’s vegan. Now, he’s not pushy about any of it from what I can tell but there’s no way he’d hang with cookie-snarfing me. Just no way.

What to do? What to do? In my case, nothing. I’ll just continue to adore them from afar and revel in pictures of arm porn, fanbases and smiles. Oh, Gal, btw – Hal actually DOES sing but it’s some thrash metal and I cannot judge how good it is because I am old and it all sounds like noise mostly. Check this out – it’s the acoustic version of “She waits” – it’s really, really good. Not metal at all.

Bottom line: I love them both (one a little more than the other, as you know) and am happy to be a fangirl of the highest order. And yes, I’m dragging my ass for hope again this year (hopefully NOT in the rain!).

Cookie Love, General Blatherings, Secretly 12 years old

David Cook, Hal Sparks

Swirlage in ma haid

January 26, 2010 Written by Lisa

First off – did we all notice the luffly new section on the side with pictures of sekrit boyfriends? I especially love that one of Hal. There’s something very sweet about that photo. It makes me happy whenever I see it hence its placement on the Snarkypants wall of love (and sekrit boyfriends!).

Second off – Chiropractor today pinpointed issues of butt pain – tweakings and adjustments to follow. Hopefully, relief of some sort is on the way. He gave me some stuff called “BioFreeze” which was … interesting and cold.

Third off – I added a sidebar for the archives so you can see how far back these here blatherings go. Yep, 2002 it was. This will be my 8th year blogging – through good times and bad, I was writing. It’s a very interesting slog through my life.

In case you were wondering, I was just as ranty back in 2003.

Witness:

Okay, hereâ€™s the thing. Thereâ€™s this guy that works at the Starbucks I frequent. He must be in his early 20s, sorta tall, big (in a Shrek kind of way) with this peculiar facial hair that reminds me of Bilbo Baggins or some hobbit like creature. Now, I have seen this guy in there before and I think heâ€™s got some wicked-ass ADD or something because he cannot remember the customerâ€™s order at all. They say it, he repeats it (incorrectly). They correct him, he says it wrong again and hopefully, the barrista person is there to hear it and get it right.
What annoys me most about this gentleman is this: when I go to Starbucks, mostly I take a book. One time, I was carrying a book as I approached the counter. ALL his attention was wrapped up in reading the title of this book. Like he goes into a trance or something, I donâ€™t know. Recently, I was wearing my Eddie Izzard â€œCake or Deathâ€ tshirt and went in there to order my usual (venti, no foam, extra hot latte). As I approached the counter, he blatantly stared at my chest.

Now, I know Iâ€™ve got the Ta-Taâ€™s of love going on (HAHAH) but must one be so blatant? But NOOOOOOO! He was in his trance reading my shirt. WTF? Dude! Just take my order and move on with your little (bizarro) life!
Fortunately, the chick behind the espresso machine recognized me so she knew my order despite him calling it out incorrectly. However, it took longer than expected to prepare so they gave me a coupon for a free beverage. YEY!

So yeah. Yesterday, before I met the Cousin O’Love for the Baltimore wedding shower road trip, I stopped you-know-where to redeem my coupon. Of course, Lord Doofus was at the register, all ready to read my shirt, my book and/or mess up my order. Since I wasnâ€™t carrying a book and I was wearing a shirt with no writing on it, he was left to just mess up my order.

Venti
No Foam
EXTRA hot
latte
somehow made it to low fat, extra foam latte. NICE.

Okay, so I go to redeem my coupon and he says â€œArenâ€™t you going to buy anything?â€
I. BEG. YOUR. FUCKING. PARDON??????????
Despite my incredulity (is that a word? If not, I just made it up!) I said â€œNopeâ€ and moved on over to get my foamy, no fat, barely lukewarm latte (my homegirl wasnâ€™t behind the bar) but I was not a happy camper. Bad enough he stares at my tits (or not, as the case may be), spaces out to look at my book titles and gets my order wrong time and again. Now heâ€™s got to badger me about how much I spend (or donâ€™t) at Starbucks??
One more faux pas like that and my butt is taking a visit to the managerâ€™s office. I am really pretty tolerant of stuff so if youâ€™ve crossed a line with me, itâ€™s got to be right bad.

What a tool. Seriously.

I had totally forgotten about that dude until I read that again and was reminded all over again of what a dumbass he was. (sigh) I miss the times I lived so close to a Starbucks that I could run out and get a Gingerbread latte between periods of a hockey game I was watching on television. The nearest SB now is at the Safeway a good 11 miles from my house (one way).

Remind me to post about my money manifesting project and how I used to bring in $2600 (my goal was $1500 for the month). It’s pretty cool, actually.

Obligatory LOLcat (this one made me laugh out loud for reals):

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