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The one where I hide all weekend

September 13, 2009 Written by Lisa

BBBB – Bethany Beach Birthday Bash
Reason for Bash: Milestone birthday of said cousin
Bashee: Cousin O’Love
Bashers: Me, Cousin & Kid O’Cool, Auntie G, Cousin O’Duh, Niece of Artsy-Fartsy, and five sweet and long-time friends of Bashee

Important things to have on hand: junk food (check), alcohol in various containers and types (check), cake of the ice cream variety (check), general noise and merriment (check and check) and a two year old off his schedule so not his usual sweet self (check)

Also present: the beach (in a brief appearance), discussions of why the Twilight books don’t totally suck and cool things you didn’t know about them, a slow and so-I-hear meandering trolley, and two young men who stopped by to rescue balloons that had drifted up toward the high ceiling and, apparently, flirt with NoAF.

What I learned on my ~~summer vacation~~ weekend of fun in Bethany Beach:

* INFPs (see bottom of this page for what the hell this is) do not do well when thrown into a group of EXTREME E’s. If the closets in the rented house weren’t locked, I would have had to go sit in one.

* Cousin O’Love’s friends adore her and why shouldn’t they? She is an awesome and loving woman who is in her element when surrounded by food, drink, friends and joy. Also, Jesus band-aids rock and even a hard-core Catholic such as CO’L is amused by them. But did she wear the “Jesus is coming – Look busy” pin to mass? Enquiring minds want to know.

* I am a fabulous aunt and am ever thankful that the Universe did not allow me possession of my own child because I would have had to kill myself. This is not busting on my darling Luke O’Love at all; rather, it’s an acknowledgement that even were I younger, I would still want to shoot myself if my day was solely focused on getting my child to drink milk he DOES. NOT. WANT. As proof of my faboo auntie-ness, though, Luke and I walked up and down the same two streets for almost 30 minutes last night while he practiced saying the few words he knows at his young age (which are, for the curious among you: Nemo, Dorrie, and Bruce). See? I rock (in small doses).

* A weekend diet of junk food x3 is not at all good for stomach issues. I think I will need to eat salad and veggies for three days to forestall a riot by my body. We had a sampling of the following (in no particular order): banana bread, fudge, wine, clam dip, shrimp (that wasn’t tooo bad), cookies, french fries from Five Guys, carmel corn from the boardwalk, soda, grapes and cheese.

* Drinking is fun. For about an hour. Then real life intervenes and then it’s not-so-fun. One cannot drink to excess and assist the Cousin O’Cool in chasing a two year old around (one can try but one would suck at it. Just saying). I chose the latter over the former because I am really nice like that. I’m a helper. (Unless you’re doing domestic stuff then just no. I will retire to a bathroom or something.)

* I am a hermit. I can take noise and chaos for a few hours and then I’m done. Two and a half days of it doesn’t seem to work too well for me. I have been in complete silence for almost four hours now and am just starting to feel like normal. Silence and a long, hot shower helped. And internets. Oh, and an unlocked (albeit cluttery) closet is my own “Jesus band-aid”. (heh)

I’m not sure I’ll be invited back next year as I definitely brought the pooper (as in party pooper) and was roundly chastised for going to bed early (i.e. before 2am). I’m pretty sure Auntie G can carry the party banner with Cousin O’Love just fine without me.

This is what fun at the beach looks like

~~~~~~~~
**INFP: Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information.

General Blatherings

entertaining sucks, GRRRRR

Lists and whatnot part 2

September 1, 2009 Written by Lisa

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Don’t get used to me writing paragraphs, all three of you. I haven’t strayed far from my list love, you know. And now I present to you:

A list of stupid shit on my blog

1. Mad Men is starting out slowly this season but as someone on Television Without Pity pointed out, the show is really a “second half of the season” kind of thing. The first half is just laying the groundwork. Well, okay. Still feels draggy to me. I need to see Don Draper getting his groove on and soon.

2. Fall is here! YEY! I got to turn the a/c off in the bedroom and sleep with the window open. Sophia loves it (me too). I’m glad I got into the pool that one time because with it being cool out, there’s no way that temp is getting above 80. (Happily puts bathing suit away in drawer for next year.)

3. Hal Sparks twittered me back! I am such a dork! I love him. He’s filling in for Stephanie Miller and he’s much more relaxed doing it this time around than he was back in May. I may have to shove someone off my “Famous guys I’d do in a heartbeat” list. So far the list is: Cookie (Duh), Eddie Izzard,, Jon Stewart, Jon Hamm (The aforementioned Don Draper in Mad Men) and just added – Hal Sparks. A girl can dream of arm porn and funny guys, can’t she?

4. I am halfway through book three of the Twilight series (Eclipse) and it is dragging along. Cousin O’Cool (and Twilight aficionado) says I cannot skip any parts. Fuckety. This is gonna take me forever. Two other chicks in my office are behind me in reading it now and we all plan a movie event when New Moon comes out in November. The big question is whether to drink BEFORE or AFTER the movie? I think before but having seen the Jake character and how awesome he looks, I might be prone to making some inappropriate comments. After will most likely be the smart choice. heh

5. LucieCat has been officially diagnosed with feline diabetes. She is NOT going to like having to go back and forth to the vets office as much as this will probably require. And I am not going to like the hit my pocketbook is going to be taking with $100 for insulin every 6 months and assorted vet visits. And gosh, I can’t wait to start jabbing needles in her every damn day. Perhaps all my “Intervention” watching will come in handy although I admit to skipping all the heroin addicts because they show way too much needle action and that’s gross. (Yes, I know the needle is part of the allure for them but not so with me. I say Ewww!)

Now you’re all caught up! :) Don’t you feel better?

Lists and more lists

Hal Sparks, kitty cats, Lists and more lists, LOLcat, Mad Men, Twitter

The enigmatic Don Draper

August 17, 2009 Written by Lisa

Gorgeous

Read a good article about the mystique of Mad Men’s Don Draper. Here’s my favorite quote:

“He is so sexy,” said another. “I love him,” said a third. “He looks like he would know how to throw me to the wall and do me right.”

Yeah. What she said. If I go any further, I’d veer into TMI category and that’s something I generally don’t share with the world at large (and the very few family members who frequent this here blog-o-rama). So, pretty much, yeah. (sigh)

I know the Gal is right there with me on the sigh-age. In fact, it is all her fault I am even on this bandwagon! And I blame Cousin O’Cool for the Twilight fascination that’s caused me to read a bizillion pages about true lurve with a frickin’ vampire.

Did I mention I watched the movie Saturday night? Suckfest (HA! pun NOT intended) it was but it fleshed out the character of Edward much more than the book. I’d like a boyfriend that’s hot for me AND can tote me around all over the place at very high speeds.

(Should I get my hormone levels checked? This post is all about the hawtness. I just need to add some cookies into the Mad Vampire stew and there’s an interesting broth indeed. (Gross, but interesting.))

Off to take a cold shower or something.

General Blatherings

David Cook, Mad Men

Q & A time!

August 3, 2009 Written by Lisa

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You gots questions, we gots answers! It’s like replying to all my fan mail but you get to see it.

Gentle reader Jody said:
For what itâ€™s worth â€” all joking aside, which I am moderately loathe to do â€” youâ€™re ACTUALLY in love with David Cook.

Not-so-Gentle Snarkstress answers:
Puhlease! In love with David Cook? Me? Oh honey, I am but a piker when it comes to the Cookie love! Check out this chick who has a blog titled “David Cook ruined my life”:

best ap ever

oh, hi, best shirt ever.

i stood next to him while he had it on.

i managed, i think, three syllables.

â€œhiâ€ was one.

â€œthanks, dave,â€ were the other two.

if youâ€™ve ever looked at this blog, you can probably surmise i am a fairly verbose individual. however, in the presence of that dude? complete loss of perspicacity. my friend had to literally steer me into his arms.

RUINED.

(but omg omg omg i met david cook! *flails*)

See? I didn’t go silent in his presence – I stuttered. True love = silence. Some sort of inappropriate lust = stuttering. (I do love him, though. Shhh. It’s our secret!)

And now, The Gal asks:
Do you like the arms better when theyâ€™re sweaty? I ask this as a Springsteen fan. Iâ€™m always hotter for the arms after heâ€™s swung a guitar for an hour (or two).

Hmmm, a sheen of sweat is nice, it’s true. I will take those arms any damn way I can. Or someone with arms that nice. Honestly, how do you even explain arm porn to someone? I tried once and felt like a dumbass because he was all “Arms? You like his arms?” and I was all “Yeah.” and he was all “they’re just arms, dude.” and I was all “Yeah. I know. But they’re his arms.”

Gal seems to be very curious these days and asks another question:
Why Maddie Hayes?

moonlighting

Surely, we all remember the television show “Moonlighting” with Cybil Shepherd and Bruce Willis? I have always been a fan girl so back in the 80s, I was really into it (and “Thirtysomething” but let’s not go there.). My friend Charlie and I had the code names for each other: He was David Addison (the Bruce Willis character) and I was, of course, Madelyn Hayes (Cyb’s character). We still call each other that to this day. Because we are dorks like that. In other dorkitude news, the love of my life in my early 30’s was named Donald so he was “Hollinger” (from the show That Girl) and I was “Ann Marie”. When we have the occasion to talk these days, we always go by Hollinger and AM. I’m a nickname kind of chick. What can I say?

And again with the questions, that Gal:

RE: My post on reading Twilight:

twilight04

Is Edward played by Patterson in the movie? I see him on every magazine cover these days (along with Jon and Kate and various Jacksons). Youâ€™re right, heâ€™s no Cookie. Too skinny and ephemeral. I bet you wouldnâ€™t look twice at those arms.

Yep, the picture above is the aforementioned Edward and you know, even before I saw it, I pictured him that way. He is no Cookie but you can’t be all hunky and whatnot and be a vampire. I think those two are mutually exclusive. Vampires must be, by definition, ephemeral. Plus, if they had the arm porn, people would be trying to bite THEM and that’s just not the natural order of things!

That’s all the time we have for questions today, kids. If the other reader of this blog (whomever you may be) wants to ask a question to be answered at a later date, have at it. Otherwise, it’s all blather all the time.

General Blatherings

Arm porn, David Cook, LOLcat, sekrit boyfriend

Bitz ‘O Crap

July 29, 2009 Written by Lisa

Here are a few things going on in greater downtown Snarkville:

* I love Twitter! I have such fun with the Cookie Chicks when they are out and about at shows I’m not. That’s who I mostly talk back and forth with but there’s the occasional random person from my life who pops up now and again. I had it hooked up to post my tweets to Facebook but that was like worlds colliding so I unhooked that. LOL My life is (mostly!) an open book – talking about woo-woo, David Cook, and the like, so if you follow me on Twitter, bring along some caffeine or something to keep you awake.

* Reading Twilight because I am nothing if not a follower. So far, it’s not too bad. The writing is easily digestible (I’ll say it that way) and it goes quickly. Bella is cool even if she hasn’t yet deduced there’s a reason Edward is always right there whenever she gets into a jam. Cousin O’Cool gave me her four books so I can hop from book to book. Nice summer reading. (But Edward is no David Cook! haha)

* Remember when I said I was going to do an hour of Seminary work every night? Yeah. No. Not so much. Jeez. I suck.

* Had fun at Luke’s 2nd birthday party. Kids, kids and more kids. A baby for me to hold (the always sweet and amenable baby Lauren from next door) and yummmy cake to eat. And bonus! *My gift* turned out to be his favorite one! Score one for the barren women of the world! heh Remote controlled cars for everyone! W00t!

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