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Sunday Stealage #5327

November 21, 2009 Written by Lisa

Sunday Stealing: The Party Mummy Meme

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
My evil twin, Liza. I wish she’d get another day because she gets all the attention, gifts and balloons.

2. Where was your first kiss?
In the woods with Billy Miller – when I was 6. I loved him. Why my parents were allowing six year old me to go traipsing around the woods alone with a kid named Billy is one of my life mysteries. (The other is why my mother let my blind father vacuum.)

3. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? If yes, why?
Does slugging in jest count? No? Well, then I plead the fifth.

4. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? When?
No and you’re welcome. I know that the one time I’d do karoke would be immortalized on the YouTubes for all the world to laugh at. Next thing you know, there’d be a cult following and would just be a mess.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex?
Do you mean person of the preferred sex? (Look how PC that question is phrased!) – Going by the men I find most attractive, it’d be sense of humor. (Eddie Izzard, Jon Stewart – not known for their suave good looks.) After that, well, I like a good cheek (as George Costanza would say).

6. What really turns you off?
Smoking and associated smells, loudness and rude people

7. What is your biggest mistake?
That’s a tough one. I have lots of mistakes, like everyone else. Biggest? Going back to eating sugar after my gastric bypass surgery. I was off it completely for over six months and then bit by bit I went back to it and it’s been an uphill battle ever since.

8. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
No, I’m not into physical pain. It makes me so so so sad when others do it. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain inside them that would compel them to do such a thing.

9. Say something totally random about yourself.
My pajamas say “Kiss Me” and I wish someone would!

10. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Just the blind man on Main Street and I’m not sure he’s a good judge.

11. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
No. I could barely stand them when I was a kid.

12. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yes, just tall enough to reach stuff on a shelf. Bonus: when I wear heels, I get magically taller and am imbued with many great talents as well.

13. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?
My 17 year old boyfriend Bob wrote me a love letter in French (I had to get the French/English dictionary to translate it. He was a much better French student than I was and really just a dream teenage boyfriend.) I tend to see the romantic gesture in lots of things so it never has to be anything big.

14. When do you know it’s love?
When someone loves you “just as you are”, to quote a line from Bridget Jones’s Diary.

15. What’s something that really annoys you?
One thing? Just one? Damn. I’d say ignorance. If you don’t know what something is, find out. Like those dumb ass emails people send out that have been debunked fifteen ways to Sunday by Snopes.com – if you are going to pass it on, check out the information you are sending out and see if it’s true.

Hell, back in my day, we had to drag our collective ass to the library. Now, you can just turn on the old laptop and Google it and within a few seconds, you’ve got all the info you need. There is no excuse for sending out crap like that. I don’t care what it’s about.

Memeage
Random Meme

WTF Wednesday #2,985

November 11, 2009 Written by Lisa

WTF

This is getting to be a regular feature here on ye olde Snarkypants, innit? Let’s dive right in.

I say a huge WTF to all of the following:

* The entire political process. With the exception of maybe (and that’s a big maybe) ten congresscritters, I want to throw the lot of you out. Posturing fuckwits, all of you, Democrats and Republicans alike. You don’t give one shit about helping people. You care only about lining your own pockets with money from companies whose interests you protect. I couldn’t be more disgusted with all of you if I tried.

~ which leads me to this:

* Hypocrites – I don’t care if you made a sex tape of you strolling your skinny ass down the self serve aisle. I don’t even care if you want to sell it. Knock yourself out, Miss Prejean. But quit acting all pious and Jesus-y about it. You’re not a victim and you’re not being silenced for your views on “opposite marriage”. What you are is a huge fucking hypocrite and I’m pretty sure Jesus would have an issue with that.

~ moving on:

Dude at work who acts like he’s too kool for school: STOP IT. You do everything possible to stand apart from the rest of us. People want to like you but you make it really hard by being all aloof and shit. On top of that, if you fail your Series 63 test again, you’re toast. Hell, even *I* can pass that one without studying. And that’s saying something. Don’t make me root for toast. Unless there’s some jam on it. Then I am all for toast. Pass your test! Be nice to people! Participate! < — my final words to you.

~ and finally:

Person on MeFi who did this:

“I work at a school in New York City. Lately I’ve been under so much stress I have fantasized about quitting often. All of the teachers at my school are browbeaten about test scores and threatened with disciplinary action for missed deadlines and inadequate performance. Yesterday, I told my principal and the assistant principal that I had cancer as a child and it had come back. Yes. Yes I did.”

First off, I have to commend this person for even posting and owning it. On MeFi, yet. While compassion is occasionally found there, more often you’ll get someone laying it on the line to you in no uncertain terms. So, props for bravery. OTOH: That is some fucked up shit. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought the ghost of Roommate Greg came back and possessed them to make such a stupid decision.

As you can imagine, three readers, they pretty much tore this person a new one. I read about ten replies down before my “OH MY GOD” meter ‘ploded and I had to go listen to a bird sing or something.

Best answer was this:

Uh, wow. Okay. Your lie is going to get found out. Make no mistake about it. Best solution now: tell them that it was a false alarm, drop it, and then go talk to a counselor about how your stress got to the point where you said this. You’re probably very stressed out and it seems pretty clear that something about reality is making you want to live in another reality, one of your own creation. Take some time off and explore this.

Yowza. You know you got some issues when telling your employer that you have cancer seems to be your best option. I hope that person manages to figure his/her way out of that mess.

So, a big WTF to all of you on the list. Try to stay off it for next time, mmmkay?

BONUS: Enjoy! (and I hope this guy never has to sing this at the start of a hockey game because he will be thrashed within an inch of his life – play it and you’ll see why).

BitchLog
Get off my lawn, Lists and more lists, Really?

What a fun way to get married!

July 24, 2009 Written by Lisa

If I get married again, this is how I’m doing it. (My favorite part is when the bride comes in … she just looks so joyous!)

Hit it!

General Blatherings

dig

July 3, 2009 Written by Lisa

So, I’m listening to the radio the other morning and they played this song as a lead in to the news. It immediately grabbed me like few songs do. (YEY for the station that lists the songs they played when on their website!) Found out it’s called “Dig” by Incubus (who also sing one of my other most favorite songs “Wish you were here” (for very sentimental reasons)) and I checked out the video on You Tube. The one that just has the animated version isn’t embeddable but this one (below) is. The band is superimposed over the animated part but it all flows together really nicely.

I don’t know why the song hit me but it really did – lyrically AND musically. Few songs (outside of the DC realm) can do that anymore but this is one of them. Sending it out as a Friday long distance dedication (cue Casey Kasem voice).

DIG

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify.
Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness;
We’ll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes you are my friend.

We all have something that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you’ll count on the me from yesterday

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we’ll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try.

We all have someone that digs at us,
At least we dig each other
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you’ll act as a clever medicine.

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we’ll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

Oh each other….
When everything else is gone.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh

If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we’ll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

Oh each other….
When everything else is gone.
Oh each other….
When everything else is gone.

General Blatherings
lyrics that mean something

Deep Thoughts

Yes, I’m one of those people

2 Cool 4 U

Still my Sekrit Boyfriend

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